Nobody gets left behind.
TRIGGER WARNING.
I was talking to my mum last week about our shared story of domestic violence at the hands of my dad.
It would’ve been a death sentence for mum to work at home. I’m not exaggerating. Her office was the only place she could escape . Her only trusted friend was a work buddy, Joanne. The friendship was kept secret from dad. Joanne was mums only link mum to the outside world. She would go on to help us escape too.
Dad timed all our movements every day.
If we were seconds late there would be hell to pay. Heads smashed on bathroom taps. Golf clubs. Small little bodies slammed into walls and doors. So many holes in the walls and doors. I tried to cover them with TV week posters but he didn’t approve.
We ate when he said. We couldn’t watch tv. Computers didn’t exist. We had a landline but I never gave out my number. I was terrified after a friend called me once. I was 10 years old and he didn’t like the sound of her last name ...”she sounded like a wog” he said,’ I was never allowed to talk to her again.
Whilst we knew it wasn’t the same at our friends places from the very rare occasion we went to playdates and sleepovers. We rarely went to birthday parties. Mum couldn’t afford gifts and she didn’t have a car. My bestie’s mum knew something was up. She taught me how to make photo frames from cushion stuffing, cardboard and a ripped up old sheet. I made little gifts for my mates. I’ll never forget her kindness, I loved giving gifts and still do!
I didn’t feel bad. Or sorry for myself.
And I don’t share these details to make you feel bad or sorry for me now. It was just normal for us. And after many years of working with kids who have it far worse than me I’ve learned the shame of that time is not my burden to bear. But it’s still tough to relive. Especially as a mother of 2 little girls about the same age I was at the worst of it then.
Imaging the kids living in isolation and the mums who still have to provide for the family and make ends meet has kept me up for days and nights.
I can’t help but think of the unthinkable abuse playing out behind closed doors right now.
Women on the brink and kids in despair. Unable to escape and holding their breath like I did with my helpless little sister on the ‘bad days’.
I developed a system to help people in crisis check in. We are in uncharted waters. My idea is based on the SCUBA buddy survival system.
WORKBUDDYCHECK is a smart; simple compliance tool.
Why? because I believe employers and leaders asking people to work from home, isolate and distance themselves have a legal duty of care to safeguard the safety and well-being of their people.
On the other side of this pandemic is social fallout like we’ve never seen.
Please have a look and see if you can use this for your people at work or in your place of worship or community.
Out of sight shouldn’t mean out of mind.
Email Mel Thomas - team@www.workbuddycheck.com and let’t get your organisation set up and prepared to support your people.
If you need someone to talk to dial 1800 RESPECT
